One of the most difficult parts of Sleigh Drivers Ed is learning how to handle the hazards encountered.
There are sky hazards, weather hazards, sick reindeer hazards… but the worst hazard is…well do you know anyone that over decorates?
They create terrible problems for Santa’s and the reindeer in negotiating smooth landings but not half the problem created for the poor suckers that do the decorating..like the guy in this song:
Plastic Santa
Plastic Santa
Lyrics Steven Stay, music B.R. Hanby
Up on the housetop I climbed because
My wife bought a plastic Santa Clause
It came with a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer
and she insisted they go up there
OH OH OH why did I go
OH OH OH why did I go
Up on the housetop so quick quick quick
With my wife's stupid Santa made of plastic
First came the problem with that hammer and nail
I hit my thumb, oh it hurt like H@#$... well
The wind then came up and it really blew
Off the roof me and Santa flew
CHORUS
Next thing I knew, it happened so fast
They had me in a custom made whole body cast
My wife said she was sorry, she seemed sincere
She said: Don't worry about plastic Santa... till next year
CHORUS
Showing posts with label sleigh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleigh. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Saturday, December 6, 2008
ELFIS Story part 11 - Fattening up Santa
Have you ever wondered why Santa’s are fat? Well, 1984 has an impact on the techies that has become an expected trait of a great Santa.
Imagine this, a lazy boy recliner, a remote, big screen plasma TVs’ with picture in picture capabilities, Dolby surround sound, all the munchies you heart desire and access to the most intimate details of everyone in the worlds life.
As you can imagine, under the circumstance it would be easy to develop an “addictive and compulsive” behavior. If it wasn’t for the local chapter of NANA (Naughty and Nice Anonymous), you wouldn’t see any toys delivered.
There isn’t a song about any of this yet but just for fun here’s a holiday twist on another song from Stu’s CCR collection.
Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho
Lyrics Steven Stay & Clement Clarke Moore. Music John Fogerty
Just got through assembling toys
The house got quiet oh boy
Got to sit down take a rest on the porch
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singing
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Then to my wondering eyes appear
A fat man a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
Look at all those happy deer as he calls them each by name
Up to the housetop the reindeer flew
With a sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Then down the chimney he came with a bound
He was decked out in fur and his belly was round round round round
Wond'rous apparition twas the night before Christmas
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Filled the stockings then with a jerk
Layed his finger on the side of his nose
He gave a nod and he was out of sight
Saying Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Imagine this, a lazy boy recliner, a remote, big screen plasma TVs’ with picture in picture capabilities, Dolby surround sound, all the munchies you heart desire and access to the most intimate details of everyone in the worlds life.
As you can imagine, under the circumstance it would be easy to develop an “addictive and compulsive” behavior. If it wasn’t for the local chapter of NANA (Naughty and Nice Anonymous), you wouldn’t see any toys delivered.
There isn’t a song about any of this yet but just for fun here’s a holiday twist on another song from Stu’s CCR collection.
Ho Ho Ho
Ho Ho Ho
Lyrics Steven Stay & Clement Clarke Moore. Music John Fogerty
Just got through assembling toys
The house got quiet oh boy
Got to sit down take a rest on the porch
Imagination sets in, pretty soon I'm singing
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Then to my wondering eyes appear
A fat man a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
Look at all those happy deer as he calls them each by name
Up to the housetop the reindeer flew
With a sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicholas too
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Then down the chimney he came with a bound
He was decked out in fur and his belly was round round round round
Wond'rous apparition twas the night before Christmas
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
He spoke not a word but went straight to work
Filled the stockings then with a jerk
Layed his finger on the side of his nose
He gave a nod and he was out of sight
Saying Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night
Ho Ho Ho looking out my front door
Friday, December 5, 2008
ELFIS Story part 12 - More from the NAN Channels
Techies are required to turn in their Naughty and Nice list daily. However, Stu couldn't resist keeping an extra record, documenting some of the juicy things he witnessed.
More on that to follow....
One of the traits observed on the NAN channels that most everyone had in common is reflected in this realistic rendition of this holiday song
It's the Most Frustrating Time of the Year
LYRICS- Most Frustrating Time of the Year
Lyrics Steven Stay, music Eddie Pola and George Wyle.
It's the most frustrating time of the year
With the kids home and yelling
I just feel like telling them get out of hear
It's the most frustrating time of the year
It's the cost costliest season of all
What the heck it's just money
I wont feel to crummy till the bill collectors call
It's the cost costliest season of all
There are party's each night and the feel of frostbite
From caroling out in the snow
The kids are to blame for me going insane
Those special Christmas's where did they go?
It's the most frustrating time of the year
With school out of session I go into depression
Those little loved ones so near
It's the most frustrating time of the year
More on that to follow....
One of the traits observed on the NAN channels that most everyone had in common is reflected in this realistic rendition of this holiday song
It's the Most Frustrating Time of the Year
LYRICS- Most Frustrating Time of the Year
Lyrics Steven Stay, music Eddie Pola and George Wyle.
It's the most frustrating time of the year
With the kids home and yelling
I just feel like telling them get out of hear
It's the most frustrating time of the year
It's the cost costliest season of all
What the heck it's just money
I wont feel to crummy till the bill collectors call
It's the cost costliest season of all
There are party's each night and the feel of frostbite
From caroling out in the snow
The kids are to blame for me going insane
Those special Christmas's where did they go?
It's the most frustrating time of the year
With school out of session I go into depression
Those little loved ones so near
It's the most frustrating time of the year
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)