ELFIS Story part 10 - The NAN Channels

Having completed all the prerequisites, that include courses such as Reindeer Husbandry, Package and Load Management, Tundra Survival Training, High Altitude Conditioning and Sleigh Drivers Ed, the Santa Techies can apply for the graduate program.

This most difficult to get accepted and enrolled in program is listed as course #1984. Less than 10% of the beginning techies make it this far and get accepted.
This graduate program is where the techies get access to start viewing the NAN Channels, where they learn to keep list and of course check them twice. NAN stands for Naughty & Nice… The Naughty and Nice channels, hence the nickname - Big Brother Santa, course #1984

This song explains the process, selected from an old familiar Marvin Gaye tune, that was also covered by Credence Clearwater Revival and the California Raisins.

Santa's Party Line



Santa's Party Line
Lyrics Steven Stay, J. Fred Coots & Henry Gillespie. Music Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong

Ooh, I bet you're wondering how I knew
Who's been bad and who's been good
How I see you when you're asleep
and how I know when you're awake

Took you by surprise I bet
How I knew all those things I said

Ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
You come in loud and clear on Santa's party line
Ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
I'm coming to town you're running out of time Honey Honey

You better watch out you better not cry
You better not pout, I'm going to tell you why
I'm making a list and I'm checking it twice
Gonna find out who's been naughty and nice

You should have told me yourself
Instead I heard it secondhand from an elf

Ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
You come in loud and clear on Santa's party line
Ooh, I heard it through the grapevine
I'm coming to town you're running out of time Honey Honey

I'm coming to town you're running out of time Honey Honey

ELFIS Story part 14 - Diversity Education

It’s OK to get creative at Christmas, but People!!!!

Make sure the kids are all snuggled, tucked and asleep in their beds before you start trying the stuff in these next couple of songs.

You can wisely avoid the confusion created in this next song, by not relying on the school system to teach your kiddies about the “birds and the bee’s” and what a couple or family can consist of these days.

I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus



LYRICS - I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus
Lyrics Kip Addotta, music T. Connor.

I saw daddy kissing, Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night
He didn't see me creep, down the stairs to have a peep
He thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep

Then I saw daddy tickle, Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white
There must be some mistake, was I really awake?
I rub my eyes and moved in close up, better look to take
Then I..then I...hey..hey!

Then I saw daddy hugging, Santa Claus
He took his hand and pulled him to the couch,
It must have been just fine, Santa didn't seem to mind
Then daddy moved across the room to pour them both some wine,

Then I saw daddy fondle, Santa Claus
And on his beard he nibbled now and then,
I crawled across the floor, I hid behind the door,
I left it open just a crack so I could watch some more
then I..then I..then I...then I..

Then I saw daddy undress, Santa Claus
They quickly threw their clothes on a big chair
Well much to my surprise, I couldn't believe my eyes
It wasn't Santa after all but mommy in disguise

Oh I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus,
Underneath the mistletoe last night
Oh what a laugh it would it been,
If I had really seen daddy kissing Santa Claus that night

ELFIS Story part 15 - Great Ideas

Many people enjoy Spicing Up more than the Wassail and Eggnog.

One guy that Stu observed on the NAN Channels had (what on the surface seemed like) a great idea. He and his wife decided that when they made love, they would take the phone off the hook. Worked great… except when he would call home and get a busy signal.

Other couples, enjoy documenting themselves playing dress up… just please… keep the video under lock and key.

Let's Put the X Back in Christmas



LYRICS - Let's Put the X Back in Christmas
by Pinkard and Bowden

This is the time for forgivin'
and the time for starting anew
It's high time for trying some things, dear
that we've always wanted to do

So, put on your red laced nightie
And pull your green stockings on
I'll tie you up with silver tinsel
while we sing some Christmas songs

The video camera is loaded
Pointed and ready to go
So lets put the X back in Christmas, darlin'
Under the mistletoe

Please wear your jingle bell earrings
and your red plastic high heels
We've got the holiday spirit
Let's see just how good we can feel

Me in my Santa outfit
in the soft glow of Christmas tree lights
I'm ready to unwrap my present
and it might just take me all night

The video camera is loaded
Pointed and ready to go
So lets put the X back in Christmas, darlin'
Under the mistletoe

Everybody sing!
Let's put the X back in Christmas, darlin'
Under the mistletoe